14 years ago today - The Battle of Hogwarts
why is it when you just want to be loved by people they just love everybody else more then they love you. Nobody else really understands either, they all complain when things get hard but they are so blind to the fact that so many people love them. They dot know how to actually go through life smiling at everybody and loving them all even though you know not one of them loves you more then at least somebody. Sometimes I don’t know what to do about it,…I wish all the pain would go away, and i wish somebody would love me most in their life. I know its a selfish thing to ask but is it really? its so hard to deal with but somehow im still alive, I know I have to move on and staying in the past won’t help those chances. but how can you move forward when you are constantly reminded of your past…or is it not even past if it keeps happening. So you are just living in the present and trying to get by as best you can. The best you can do is not moving you any more forward. why cant I make friends like others…why does there have to be something about me that is different then others. They stop talking and stare just long enough for me to notice….I can tell when they think im weird, but i still cant change cause its just who I am. I want to be loved by more people….I want it so bad…I guess ive become a fool because I am weak. Why do I want this love and attention? Why can’t I just be happy with life the way it is. my friends dont understand, they all have tons of friends. I have few i can actully call friend, and as many people who have said their my BESTfriend…ive never once had a true best freind…somebody who wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with them. Someone to call me first to go to the movies or have a sleep over, instead of last, last resort. I just want to know that i am loved…is it really that hard to love me….and i really that different? Im sorry to be acting this way and if this doesn’t even make sense…I guess theres not to much I can do….Im still waiting for you to find me…and love me and care for me like I care for you! I want to meet you so bad,….I will wait for you as long as it takes, I wont lose hope!
